How to Change Your Subconscious Mind so That you Can Live Your Best Life

Have you ever struggled with negative thoughts and limiting beliefs? Have you ever felt stuck in a rut, despite your best efforts to move forward? The truth is our subconscious mind holds immense power over our thoughts, emotions, and actions. It’s responsible for shaping our beliefs, and in turn, our beliefs then shape our reality. But the good news is that we can change our subconscious mind and unlock our full potential with the right tools and techniques. In this blog post, I’ll share with you my journey and the strategies I’ve used to change my subconscious mind so I could finally live my best life.

How understanding the subconscious mind helped save my life

I used to have this overwhelming voice in my head, particularly when I was in the company of those who were related to me, that constantly told me I wasn’t good enough, that I would never amount to anything, that I was unlovable and that I would never get anything right in my life. 

I made mistake after mistake and struggled to find healthy relationships. I was angry, and I always had a nagging feeling of being alone in this world, drifting through life like an oddball. It was clear that I wasn’t like all the other girls, and I didn’t understand why.

My family was weird too, but I didn’t know it then. My emotions were severely oppressed, and I could barely differentiate happiness from sadness. There was trauma, like many people who were raised in the 80s, but I had never even heard of the term, so I alone wore the damage, always feeling like it was me that was the problem. 

Packed to the brim, I loaded my car with everything I had and left for college 10 hours away from everything I had known, and not a single person was there to wish me good luck and send me on my way. At the time, I didn’t even recognize that as abnormal. I was forgotten. We were all forgotten. And that was very normal. But now that I have a teenager of my own and I’ve come to terms with a lot of the painful emotions I had repressed, I realize what an impact that kind of emotional neglect had on me and how events like these contributed to the constant voice in my head that reminded me of my insignificance. 

So I was forced to cultivate some pride in myself because I had done a lot of it on my own. I filled out the applications, got the grades, saved the money, and moved away to pursue my dream of being the first family member to graduate college. I assumed that with enough hard work and persistence, I could gain the love and admiration of someone, anyone. And weirdly, I felt like if I could just work harder, do more, and achieve something, then they’d love me, they’d see me, and I wouldn’t be insignificant. Therefore, accomplishment and hard work became the goal that I thought would give me the love and respect that I so badly desired. 

Instead, what happened was that the negative voice got so strong, and my connections became so distant that I couldn’t seem to find a point in any of it. I reached a point where trying to work for love from my family wasn’t even worth it, but I didn’t have anyone else to turn to. So I let the belief of my insignificance dictate my worth, and it was a heavy price to pay because that voice led me to believe that the solution was to end my life. And I tried. 

Many books later, I realized that to understand how that voice became so loud and how to get out from under it was directly tied to my subconscious mind.

Let me explain how.

Understanding the difference between the conscious and the subconscious mind

The conscious mind is the part of our mind responsible for our awareness and decision-making. It is responsible for our thoughts, feelings, and actions that we are aware of and can control. It has the ability to process information, analyze it, and make decisions based on that information.

On the other hand, the subconscious mind is the part of our mind that operates outside of our awareness. It is responsible for storing and processing information not immediately accessible to our conscious mind. This information includes memories, habits, emotions (even the ones we suppress), and beliefs that are stored and processed below the surface of our conscious awareness, so it plays a crucial role in shaping our perception of the world. 

Unlike the conscious mind, the subconscious mind cannot be directly controlled. This was important for me to understand because when we have unresolved trauma that is stored in our subconscious mind, it controls how we perceive the world without our knowledge. 

The good news is that it can be manipulated.

This is why random thoughts of worthlessness and insignificance were always a reoccurring theme that would make their way into every interaction and experience I had. 

A bad grade became a reflection of my worth. Someone saying something hurtful reinforced my insignificance. Car problems became a reminder of my failures. All because my subconscious mind controlled how I perceived the events around me. 

But this perception was simply a product of my dysfunctional upbringing, not that of reality. And this realization was the foundation of my becoming emotionally well and the beginning of learning how to change my subconscious mind.

The Power of the Subconscious Mind:

The subconscious mind is where all your emotions, habits, memories, and beliefs are stored, so understanding it is the foundation for making lasting changes in your life. The subconscious mind shapes our perceptions and experiences and drives our behavior, which is why understanding our subconscious mind is the portal to improving our lives.  

Your subconscious mind is an incredibly powerful force (but I’m sure you’ve already heard that before). Or maybe you’ve just heard that the mind is powerful, and the concept of the subconscious being the most powerful force is new to you. The hold-up isn’t usually because of a lack of understanding of the power of our minds but of understanding how to tap into it so you can get what you want out of life. 

Training your mind to think positively despite negative thought patterns and to eliminate limiting beliefs can open up a whole new world of opportunity, enabling you to move closer to achieving your goals and living life on your terms!

For me, learning how to change my subconscious mind was the first step to emotional freedom. 

Why you need to learn to change your subconscious mind

If we know that the subconscious mind influences our thoughts, emotions, and behavior, that means that it also has the ability to shape our perception of reality and impact how we react to different situations. 

Our subconscious mind can’t differentiate our thoughts from reality and what is imagined and real. 

I can not overemphasize the significance of this statement.

So when we think a thought repeatedly, we bring it to fruition because our minds can’t tell the difference, and reality is then shaped to confirm our thoughts through what is commonly known as confirmation bias (I wrote about it in an email here).

Therefore, by changing the negative beliefs and thought patterns stored in the subconscious mind, we can improve our self-esteem, increase our confidence, overcome fears and phobias, and achieve greater success in our personal and professional lives.

Additionally, changing our subconscious mind can help us break free from limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns that may hold us back, allowing us to realize our full potential. By shifting our subconscious mindset, we can absolutely change the way we respond to challenges and opportunities, leading to greater happiness, satisfaction, and well-being.

This is how you do it.

5 Ways to Change your Subconscious Mind

  • Stay Objective.

“Objectivity is not the absence of bias, it is the effort to identify bias and overcome it.”


Objectivity simply means that your emotions don’t sway you. So when I say that it is important to look at life objectively, this doesn’t mean that I’m saying be emotionless. What I am saying is that we need to explore what’s actually happening without adding meaning to it.

If you want to change your life, the first step is learning how to control your thinking about unfolding events. Pay attention to how you think about certain events and notice when negative thoughts arise. 

Stay objective. 

Don’t let yourself get swept away in thoughts that aren’t grounded in reality; instead, acknowledge the thought, see it for what it is, and let it go.

  • Reframe Negative Thoughts & Beliefs

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”

Marcus Aurelius

You don’t have to let negative thoughts control you. Once you become aware of a limiting belief, take action to challenge it. Instead of accepting the thought as true, reframe it with a more positive statement about yourself and your life. 

For example, if you think, “I can never succeed no matter what I do,” replace that thought with something like, “I am capable and determined; I will find success.”

  • Reverse engineer your life for success.

“Start with the end in mind.”

– Stephen Covey

There is immense importance in starting with a clear vision of what you want in order to achieve optimal results. When you have a clear end goal in mind, you can work backward to determine the steps you need to take to reach that goal, which is essentially the process of reverse engineering. By starting with the end in mind and working backward to determine the necessary steps, you can create a clear roadmap for achieving your desired outcome.

Successful goal attainment involves mindful strategies ─ paying close attention to your actions and environment. With mindfulness, you develop the awareness and skills to recognize negative thoughts or situations before they derail you from your goals. Remain focused on the present moment and track how you are performing relative to your desired end result. Develop plans for how you will handle any challenging situations that may come up. Spend time visualizing yourself achieving success and develop a strategy for moving closer to it each day.

  • Let go of fear

“A ship in harbor is safe — but that is not what ships are built for.”

John A. Shedd

Life is working for you, not against you. You’ve got to remind yourself of this. Every obstacle, every setback, every tribulation is there to teach you something, and it is your responsibility to find that lesson. 

Fear is the most destructive emotion preventing you from getting what you want in life. Therefore it is imperative that you face that emotion and move on. 
Instead of focusing on what you can’t do or what could go wrong, focus on what you can do and take the necessary steps to move forward. Let go of fear and enjoy life to the fullest. You can choose to be either trapped or liberated; fear will always keep you trapped, but when you view opportunities in your life as tools for growth, liberation becomes exponentially easier.

  • Practice Gratitude

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

Melody Beattie

Gratitude can have a profound effect on our subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind is responsible for many of our automatic thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that shape our daily experiences. When we express gratitude, we activate positive emotions that can shift our subconscious mind towards more positive thinking.

Gratitude also creates new neural pathways. The more we focus on gratitude, the more we reinforce the neural pathways associated with positive thinking. Over time, these neural pathways become stronger and more automatic, making it easier to see the positive aspects of our lives, even in challenging situations.

When we express gratitude regularly, it can help change the deeply ingrained beliefs in our subconscious mind and impact our thoughts and behaviors without us even realizing it. When we express gratitude, we begin to shift our beliefs towards a more positive outlook. We start to believe that good things can happen, that we deserve love and happiness, and that the world is a kind and supportive place. These beliefs can have a ripple effect on our thoughts and behaviors, leading to more positive outcomes in our lives.

Transform your Life

As I reflect on my journey toward changing my subconscious mind, I am reminded of the incredible power within each of us. By staying objective, reframing negative thoughts, reverse engineering our life, letting go of fear, and practicing gratitude, we have the ability to transform our thoughts and beliefs in ways that positively impact our lives. 

It’s not always easy, but the results are worth it. From my own experience, I can say that these techniques have helped me to achieve more than I ever thought possible. So, take that first step towards rewiring your subconscious mind, and watch as your life transforms before your eyes.

Remember, you have the power to change your thoughts, and your thoughts have the power to change your life.

Now, I want to hear from you!

a penny for your thoughts?

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Saima Fraz

    Mashallah this is fantastic content thank you I have also been on same journey of growth about wanting to end life but that is not why I was created! I was created for success for success.

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